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Trust

Mama Mary and child Jesus

“I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to Your will.” I can imagine the special scene in my head. I can see a young woman speaking to the Lord’s angel. Oh, she’s not quite a woman yet when it happened. She was barely a teen. Yet she had that quiet confidence in her and a kind of courage that dispels out all kinds of fear.

That’s what Mary’s life is all about, an act of complete surrender. She did what’s asked of her. She said “yes” and she and the whole world were never the same again.

TRUST. That’s what You want me to do. That’s what You want to put in my heart. But sometimes oftentimes I’m stubborn and does things my way instead. How naïve I am to think I can do better, that I can fathom Your thoughts and I can alter Your ways.

These past 10 weeks has been a series of unfortunate events. Well that’s what I thought in the beginning. In hindsight, I saw the lessons You lovingly planted in them. Truly “All things work together for those who love You”, in the end. Thank You for yesterday and for the most humbling experience. I’ve learned to trust the process. And most importantly, to trust You more than I trust myself.

I still have many more things to cross out in my bucket list. The world will not run out of exciting dreams for me to chase. On the contrary, every now and then I can see shadows of dark thoughts lurking. Telling me I can’t do it, I don’t deserve good things, and I’m bound to fail. But I choose to envision a future that’s a million times better than what I have or what I had. I say yes to Your invitation to an exciting life ahead. A life defined by healing, joy, love and success.

I surrender my plans to You. Bless them and purify them. May they be done according to Your will.

I’m following my dreams.

Jen

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So I Won’t Forget

1 Corinthians 16:14

It’s been two days. Up to now my head can’t comprehend. My heart is still burdened by this heavy feeling. I feel like in the midst of a whirlpool in turbulence. And it’s sucking in the very core of my being.

I’m groaning with despair.  Why does it have to happen? Why do You give and take away? Why do You say yes and suddenly change Your answer? So many questions. So many what if’s and could have been’s. 

But only You knows our lives from beginning to end. Our coming and going. Our time here on Earth.

May I remember this moment forever, what I felt and what I learned. To trust others and believe in their goodness. To value relationships. To love with the kind of love that You unrelentingly give. To forgive even when it hurts. 

I will not be shaken. I’ll make myself better.

I’ll follow my dreams.

Jen

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This Day is For You

Psalm 103:2

This day is for You. My lips sing songs. My heart is full. Thank You.

Today a special dream of mine came true. I was finally able to share my book, my tiny piece of gift to the world. An inconsequential gift compared to what You did and what You gave.

As words are read and pages are turned, I hope they see Your face. With that kind look that displaces worry and fear. I hope they feel Your hands and hear Your voice that speak of lavish love that never ends. I pray they will be blessed. Abundantly. Exceedingly. In many ways we can’t imagine, a thousand ways we don’t deserve.

I know You share in my joy. Your delight overflows and you adore me even more. Thank You.

This day is for You. And all my tomorrows, too.   

I’ll follow my dreams.

Jen

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Sunset’s Promise

Sunset at Sea

Today’s free show has been incredibly great. I’m glad I didn’t miss it. Thanks for reminding me that no matter how bad a day or a cruise has been, beautiful things can happen in the end.

As the setting sun with its warm glow kisses the sea, I pray it sets me free. I pray it takes all my hurts away. And when tomorrow comes, You will gift me with a better day. The sky proclaims the works of Your hands. But most of all, it boasts Your everlasting love.

I thought I saw a glimpse of heaven today. With its gates wide open, I saw You standing still. Your hands reached out to me. You whispered something softly. You wiped my tears gently, told me not to weary and let go of my worries. For Your loving hands are writing my beautiful story. 

For You know the plans You have for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

I will hold on to that promise. I will keep hoping and believing. When that future comes the sun will sleep beautifully again. My questions will be answered. Perfect love will cast out all my fears. I will find Jupiter.   

I’ll follow my dreams. 

Jen