Trust

Mama Mary and child Jesus

“I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to Your will.” I can imagine the special scene in my head. I can see a young woman speaking to the Lord’s angel. Oh, she’s not quite a woman yet when it happened. She was barely a teen. Yet she had that quiet confidence in her and a kind of courage that dispels out all kinds of fear.

That’s what Mary’s life is all about, an act of complete surrender. She did what’s asked of her. She said “yes” and she and the whole world were never the same again.

TRUST. That’s what You want me to do. That’s what You want to put in my heart. But sometimes oftentimes I’m stubborn and does things my way instead. How naïve I am to think I can do better, that I can fathom Your thoughts and I can alter Your ways.

These past 10 weeks has been a series of unfortunate events. Well that’s what I thought in the beginning. In hindsight, I saw the lessons You lovingly planted in them. Truly “All things work together for those who love You”, in the end. Thank You for yesterday and for the most humbling experience. I’ve learned to trust the process. And most importantly, to trust You more than I trust myself.

I still have many more things to cross out in my bucket list. The world will not run out of exciting dreams for me to chase. On the contrary, every now and then I can see shadows of dark thoughts lurking. Telling me I can’t do it, I don’t deserve good things, and I’m bound to fail. But I choose to envision a future that’s a million times better than what I have or what I had. I say yes to Your invitation to an exciting life ahead. A life defined by healing, joy, love and success.

I surrender my plans to You. Bless them and purify them. May they be done according to Your will.

I’m following my dreams.

Jen

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